"I drink to make other people interesting" --George Jean Nathan

"Smoking is the nation's leading cause for statistics." --unknown

“Anal intrusion doesn’t work for me.” –Bill

“See, when I turn it over, nothing drips out.” –Bill

“It's one thing to cheat on your boyfriend. It’s another thing to cheat on your fondue.” –Danielle

“I like to be upright on wheels.” –Danielle

"If you blow sunshine and stardust up his ass, it's possible!" --Daniel

"Are you saying I should stick a pair of socks down my pants?" --Morganne

"The girls who ask me for markers are never the girls I want to ask me for markers." --Gary

"I have never cleared this desk and assaulted women." --Gary

"No, I'm not going to describe an asian woman's love pudding!" --Helme

"My nose is falling off, but I can still pretend I have a big dick." --Dave from New Zealand

"I was having an orgasm too! How could I pay attention to her?" --Filip

"You'll be the one hurting, I'll just be dirty." --Laura

"I could make a better milkshake with a q-tip and some olive oil." --Dimitri

"That's like walking in on your mom being fucked by a polar bear." --Justin H.

"So farting's bad for the ozone layer?"
"It is when 60 million sheep do it." --Myself and Milly, respectively

"It's a ride on a circumcised merry-go-round." --Alex L.

"I had no idea that camel sperm made such good anti-freeze." --Alexei

"It's an old woman, she can handle it." --Alexei

"I hate eating spinach in public." --Elise

"Don't look at me, I'm just flipping." --Jason

"If she can't appreciate Bill and Ted, she's probably not into anal sex anyway" --Jason

"Just don't watch me drool." --Kelly

"I've never seen a chicken's asshole before."
"Well, that's interesting, because that's where the head goes." --Two members of my family

"Don't you mind my droppings, please." --Alex

"_ She doesn't know what to do with it, it's so big!"
_ I think I'll just suck at it for a bit." --Steve & Morganne

"Don't fuck with me, I'm on wheels." --Elise

"That would make an exciting toilet experience." --Austin

"Sex is really popular right now." --Bart

"This thing is 100% spoon, but it's missing some parts." --Philip

“I’m going to pour my milk out, and you can do anything you want with yours.” --Danielle

"There's entirely too much cum in this country, especially in public places, like salads." --Sarah T.

"Just wait until you see our nipples!" --Sarah T.

"Bring on the disease, I can handle it." --Ryan C.

"Hey now, I'm not trying to make a conflict, I'm just trying to get naked for you." --Ryan C.

"Penis is an acquired taste." --Ryan C.

"There's always a way to get urine on someone's table." --Ryan C.